You sucked! Well, at least 10% of you did anyway.
“Ive got a lovely bunch of cocoanuts…there they are a standing in a row, BIG ones, small ones…some as BIG AS YOUR HEAD!”
*gasps* Really? Wow! *grins and waves to everyone*
Drive to school, was oh so fun. What made it fun? I don’t remember. *scratches head* Does this make me dumb, or slow? Oh wellies…
Susana told me that she and Angela went to see Mona Lisa Smile. Which made me feel sad and as if I weren’t their best friend anymore. She promised me, that we could see that movie together. But, oh well…whatever, Im not saying anything. They spent some of this weekend together and I spent it with Sheila. So I have to get over it.
Maybe Im spending too much time with Sheila? Then again, it wouldn’t matter, bc Im drifting from them anyways. I know. I can see it.
I went to first period, did my DLPs and then got our new vocabulary list and got with Jonathan on a computer and went to dictionary.com and did our work. Yayness. Only 20 words this time. *jumps around* Makes me happy. And I wrote Jonathan a dirty letter….hehehe. Aww I love Jonathan, he’s my bestest friend ever!
Then, I went to 2nd. Only thing we did was type one thing…and I played some games on postopia.com, bc I was getting bored. I was going to write in the “notebook”, but I didn’t feel like it. I don’t ever know what to say to them anymore. Maybe that’s why Im so quiet in the mornings, around them.
Then Amy and I have a discussion. One that scared me and made me wonder…hm…
WONDER: Oh why Buddha, why?
*sits on bed and pouts, thinking about my boring day…and this conversation*
Amy: Okay, I’ll tell you what I was going to tell you. *whispers* I don’t think Im straight.
Amanda: Thought: What is she a lesbian? Said: Okay, why?
Amy: Because when I was watching that movie, the chicks made me, well yeah…
Amanda: Uh..okay. Thought: Freak.
And it made me think of the time last semester, when we both wanted to date Robbie (eww, I think he wants to screw Susana now! and he wanted to date us at the same time (never!). Well she had told me that he wanted her to kiss a girl and she kept asking me if I would and how she would if someone wanted to kiss her. It made me feel as if she was asking me to kiss her, in subtext…trying to make me see this. Ugh. I don’t want to kiss Amy. Maybe Rose. Bc, I love Rosie.
By the way, to be bisexual…you’re supposed to have feelings for both sexes, correct? To be bi-curious, you can just be turned-on, right? So what Amy is saying…is that she is bi-curious? That she gets turned on by hot chicks. (who doesn’t?) Half the schools population is bisexual girls. All that probably fuck with other girls to get guys to watch. Ive heard that maybe one bi-girl had a gf. The rest just say they’re bi and fuck around with girls. Which, isn’t bi to me. No. It’s about feelings. Jesus Christ!
And lately Susana has been acting odd. We were walking down the hall to my locker, to get ready to go home, after running…
Susana: So, what is being bisexual really?
Amanda: Well, if you’re sexually attracted to the same sex, then you don’t really consider it bisexual, maybe bi-curious. Are you?
Amanda: Would you kiss, touch, eat out, finger, or fuck a girl?
Susana: Maybe. *smiles*
Amanda: Okay. Would you ever date one?
Susana: Maybe, if a good enough one came along.
I have a feeling she is lieing. And a feeling Amy is being slow in the head. I honestly, hate people like this. Anyways, my proof on Susana’s behalf.
Susana: Brent asked me if Id kiss another girl to save his life.
Susana: He asked if Id kiss you and I said no. And then he asked if Id kiss Angela and I said no.
God, I don’t know. Let Amy fuck girls. Let Susana fuck girls. I don’t care. Im ready to get my ass out of fucking school, jesus christ.
“Oooh Cheddar Cheese, Cheddar cheese for you and meeeeeeeeee
Oh Cheddar Cheese, I love theeeeeeeeee”
I didn’t eat lunch again, but I stole some of Ashlea’s lunch, like always. Then we went and got a coke and back to class. Oh happyhappyjoyjoy! I looooove to dance. *dances*
In class we were doing a lab, but Coachy sent us out to look for a balloon, which no one had. Damn them! Grrrr. And Ashlea and me skipped down the hall…and she told my indoor soccer buddee, Justin that I was a lesbian. : Way to go Ashlea! *hits head onto wall* And I flashed the hallway out of bordum, bc no one was there. *licks air*
We saw Mark and he let me pet his hair. It was soft. Jonathan’s is soft too…I love soft hair. I told Mark that if I petted him in the mornings, that he shouldn’t be frightened.
Weeeee. Then in class, Ashlea was telling me when she first loved Jonathan. It was so sweet. And then she told me that when she slept (not had sex) with him…and woke up in his arms, she felt like she was in Heaven.
Ashlea: Have you ever felt like that?
Man, I want to feel like that. It made me think of Richard. And how badly, I wanted to wake up in his arms…but that’s crazy. I think. I don’t know. God. *screams loudly and runs in circles*
But I thought about it the whole time in class. It wouldn’t get off my mind. And I wanted to class to go as slow as possible and normally I’d want it to hurry up. Oh, well. I liked thinking about Richard….and stuff.
I forgot to mention…Rose drew a picture of a chick eating out another chick and I stole it from her. Amy wanted it, but I took it. She begged Rose to draw her one. Lame.
When I was walking with Susana to 6th period, we stopped to see Coach. I told him I didn’t think I was going to play, unless he gave me reasons. He told me all this stuff about letting down the team, leaving like a lot of the others bc they didn’t think they were good, and hurting the team bc I was good and crap…then he said, “Besides, coach and I were thinking about pulling you up to play defense on Varsity.”
Normally, this would have made me smile and jump up and down. I didn’t. I nodded and said I’ll think about it. Ah, I’m gonna. I don’t want to, but I will. I am. Yes.
I’ll still get good grades. And I’ll try to make Varsity and yeah, I’ll do good. I’m sure.
I don’t care to tell the world, what happened in math, bc Mr. Daly just continues to piss me off. Oh, but Deremus…*sniff*, he broke my heart. Said he loved Chelsea, when he said he loved me and wanted me forever. Damn boys! *throws paper across the room* Aww, Deremus is the bestest! *dances happily with Carolyn and Chelsea* I hate this class so much, but I loooove it anyways.
Nikki drove me home and took me on the Expressway! YAY!!!>/b> I looove her.
Hmm…now I’m home and I have to read Moby Dick and do the work in the book and in the workbook, study for Spanish2 and do the page she assigned…and do anything needed in US History…or I can wait til tonight. *smiles* Because I’m lazy and I don’t want to do it. Weeeeeee. Yayness.
P.S. I’m not weird, I’m just abnormal. *kisses unknown person, then twirls away singing.*
“Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must have been something you said
I just died in your arms tonight
I keep looking for something I can't get
Broken hearts lie all around me
And I don't see an easy way to get out of this
Her diary it sits on the bedside table
The curtains are closed, the cats in the cradle”
–Cutting Crew “I just died in your arms tonight”
I was singing this on the way home. God, I can’t sing.